How To Blow Up Your Life

And craft an extraordinary second act

You may have heard, I’ve been  asked to participate in the Generation Women’s ‘Best Of’ show this week, repping Team 50s. Here’s what GW’s Georgia Clark had to say about it:

“The "Best Of" show is, literally, the best and biggest show of the year. We’ve handpicked storytellers whose stories stayed with us: made us laugh, made us cry, made us think, made us reflect on the cycle of life and the complexity of the human experience.”

It’s an incredible honor.

I’m trying to be cool about the whole thing, but to say I’m not over the moon about it would be like saying Carrie Bradshaw thinks her 5” stilettos are just OK.  

A snapshot from April’s Generation Women show.

NYC has been home for about a year now and if you’d asked me 365 days ago, what I’d be doing today, what I would hope to be doing at this point, I would never have conceived of this. I have found New Yorkers to be the most generous, kind, and accepting people. Helpful, encouraging, all of it. 

A million baby steps in the right direction can propel you to places you never imagined. 

When my marriage was on shaky ground back in 2008-ish, I began a journey of reflection and self-discovery— ‘How did this happen? ‘How did I get here?’ And more importantly, ‘How can I prevent this from happening again?’

If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting to get different results, then I knew back then that something had to change in a big way. And I made a commitment to myself; I drew a line in the sand right there and decided to move into the next phase in life a better me, either stepping into a healthier marriage or a life without him.  I wasn’t sure exactly what that would entail, but I jumped in feet first, mainly because that’s my personality but also because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

It was a scary move because I found that I needed to look at almost everything in my life differently—I needed to show up differently—and I didn’t have a clue how to do that. Plus, doing things differently didn’t feel normal; at first, it felt weird. 

I examined every aspect of my life, deciding what to keep and what to release. My thoughts and feelings about myself, about him, about my children, religion, money, and family. It all went under a microscope. 

I went to therapy, I went to Al-Anon, I joined therapeutic women’s groups, and I quit drinking. 

Slowly, a healthier way of being evolved. It was clunky at first but became more manageable over time. What helped me the most was a group of women who had gone before me, leading the way and guiding me at each step. 

Because these women were in my life, I felt less alone. They modeled what healthy looked like so I could lean into that and move forward. I could go to these women for advice or to listen. They cleared the way for me to move forward until I could figure out the way forward for myself - toward myself. 

There is such power in healthy women in community, in women who are on the journey toward their more peaceful, intentional, authentic selves. 

Once I saw what was possible, I grabbed it with both hands and never let go. I knew this was the life that was meant for me and that this was the life I wanted to live. 

I set out to create an extraordinary second act—a reclamation of myself, a coming home. 

If you know me, you know I moved on without him. I divorced and began my second act as a single mom, living life solo and all that entails. Since then, I have experienced several reinventions  -  different kinds of second acts, if you will. 

• I’ve entered into a new relationship and remarried. 

• I’ve blended two families, which is a lot of work—the kind of work I wasn’t expecting. 

• I’ve ended my childbearing years and entered the second phase of life. Hello, menopause. 

• I’ve committed my life to addressing codependency issues and becoming ‘emotionally sober’ - an everyday journey that apparently never ends.

• I’ve ventured down a new career path - and am changing not only what I’m doing for work but how I deal with and think about work. Which it seems was completely fucked up all these years. 

• My children have entered life’s young adult phase, and I find myself sitting in the middle of the proverbial ‘empty nest.’ 

Reclamation is in every corner of our lives at every turning point. Each day is a new beginning—a chance to start fresh and reclaim what was made for you. Every moment is a chance to begin again, which is such a relief! It’s also a little terrifying. 

I desire to live extraordinary second acts in every aspect of my life. 

That’s what this work is all about — exploring what it’s like to craft a reinvention, whatever that may be. To blow up what’s not working and cling to what will. 

Things are better when you feel less alone, which is why I am here for you, and we’re here for each other. 

How will you craft your extraordinary second act? 

Until next time…

S