Emotional sobriety is what it's all about. During the first part of your post I was thinking I would say something about what recovery means to me, which is simply being honest with myself—about whatever defects, imbalances, improper relationships with whatever people, behaviors, etc. Then you got to the emotional sobriety part and that was "bingo." Every day in sobriety my morning routine includes asking for my higher power for help in staying sober for the day. But then—I ask for help keeping me emotionally sober throughout the day as well. I ask HP to "direct my thinking, that it be divorced from self pity, dishonest, or self seeking motives." Not an exhaustive list, but a pretty good start on keeping me out of my silly self-centered self defeating feelings and behaviors.
Yes, an addict without a vice! I've found various ways to numb out: Solitaire on my iPad, romance novels (a long time ago), candy (also in the past). Now I take long bus rides in my power chair. They are meditative.
Thing is, we need to numb out. Otherwise we will drown in the overflow of impressions and messages that surround us. So at least, get addicted to the sane stuff. I'm going back to listening to thrillers on audiobooks and making hand-pieced quilt squares I'll probably never make into quilts.
Many in my family are alcoholics, but not me. I've tried. Not a good fit. I don't like being drunk.
Thank you for sharing your story, Fran. You are right; sometimes, we need to numb out. I think it’s healthier if we are aware that we’re doing that. Your sane addictions are a great idea—we all need that go-to!
Like Ilona, I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic at all. However, I thought nothing of drinking every day, especially when I lived in the Caribbean. I don't think there was a single day I didn't drink and yes, I sometimes used it for courage as a solo traveler because as you said, drinking is a VERY social affair.
My health had a lot to do with me quitting. In my 40s I started experiencing excruciating migraines after drinking. My last bender was in New Orleans in 2019 and haven't touched it since.
Kristi - Thank you for sharing your story. I love that you chose your health over social norms and the potential fear of standing out. Wouldn't it be great if we could normalize not drinking?
YES it would!! I could talk about this for days related to certain “friends” I have who just can’t understand how I can live such a mundane life of no hangovers. It’s bizarre.
Hi Sara! I will be five years sober on Feb. 1. I also never identified as an alcoholic since I only ever had a couple of drinks. But those drinks were verrrrry important to me to take the edge off the day. I used to drink wine every night while preparing dinner, but then for the rest of the night I would be useless. Once I quit drinking (which took a while), I substituted drinking juice while I cooked, but eventually, I didn't need anything. I discovered I don't like to cook and only do so because it's necessary to live. The wine had been a motivator to do this thankless task.
Thanks for sharing your story. I recommend everyone quit drinking this cancer-causing toxin. You'll be surprised how your life changes!
Five years! Congratulations. I get the wine with dinner. When my kids were little, I used to do a lot of that, along with the 'mommy's bottle' trope. Looking back, it's not that funny. The things we do to hide from ourselves are immense - congratulations on doing the hard work.
Thanks for sharing this, Jakey. You have done the hard work, and that’s not easy. I know your story will help others. Congratulations - keep on keeping on.
Emotional sobriety is what it's all about. During the first part of your post I was thinking I would say something about what recovery means to me, which is simply being honest with myself—about whatever defects, imbalances, improper relationships with whatever people, behaviors, etc. Then you got to the emotional sobriety part and that was "bingo." Every day in sobriety my morning routine includes asking for my higher power for help in staying sober for the day. But then—I ask for help keeping me emotionally sober throughout the day as well. I ask HP to "direct my thinking, that it be divorced from self pity, dishonest, or self seeking motives." Not an exhaustive list, but a pretty good start on keeping me out of my silly self-centered self defeating feelings and behaviors.
Sounds like a great morning practice. Thanks for sharing your story, Jim. We can learn so much from each other.
Yes, an addict without a vice! I've found various ways to numb out: Solitaire on my iPad, romance novels (a long time ago), candy (also in the past). Now I take long bus rides in my power chair. They are meditative.
Thing is, we need to numb out. Otherwise we will drown in the overflow of impressions and messages that surround us. So at least, get addicted to the sane stuff. I'm going back to listening to thrillers on audiobooks and making hand-pieced quilt squares I'll probably never make into quilts.
Many in my family are alcoholics, but not me. I've tried. Not a good fit. I don't like being drunk.
Thank you for sharing your story, Fran. You are right; sometimes, we need to numb out. I think it’s healthier if we are aware that we’re doing that. Your sane addictions are a great idea—we all need that go-to!
Like Ilona, I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic at all. However, I thought nothing of drinking every day, especially when I lived in the Caribbean. I don't think there was a single day I didn't drink and yes, I sometimes used it for courage as a solo traveler because as you said, drinking is a VERY social affair.
My health had a lot to do with me quitting. In my 40s I started experiencing excruciating migraines after drinking. My last bender was in New Orleans in 2019 and haven't touched it since.
Kristi - Thank you for sharing your story. I love that you chose your health over social norms and the potential fear of standing out. Wouldn't it be great if we could normalize not drinking?
YES it would!! I could talk about this for days related to certain “friends” I have who just can’t understand how I can live such a mundane life of no hangovers. It’s bizarre.
No hangover is a huge plus!
Hi Sara! I will be five years sober on Feb. 1. I also never identified as an alcoholic since I only ever had a couple of drinks. But those drinks were verrrrry important to me to take the edge off the day. I used to drink wine every night while preparing dinner, but then for the rest of the night I would be useless. Once I quit drinking (which took a while), I substituted drinking juice while I cooked, but eventually, I didn't need anything. I discovered I don't like to cook and only do so because it's necessary to live. The wine had been a motivator to do this thankless task.
Thanks for sharing your story. I recommend everyone quit drinking this cancer-causing toxin. You'll be surprised how your life changes!
Five years! Congratulations. I get the wine with dinner. When my kids were little, I used to do a lot of that, along with the 'mommy's bottle' trope. Looking back, it's not that funny. The things we do to hide from ourselves are immense - congratulations on doing the hard work.
Thanks for sharing this, Jakey. You have done the hard work, and that’s not easy. I know your story will help others. Congratulations - keep on keeping on.